Too Many Scars
by Rayne Goulet
Summary: After Sirius dies Harry is tired of life. A week into his stay with the Dursleys he is considering suicide. And the only two people who come to his resue are Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy. See inside summary for more.
1. Save Me

Inside Summary: Harry Potter is fed up with life. During his fourth year he begins to cut himself and it soon becomes an obsession. After Sirius dies Harry doesn't fell the will to live anymore and tries to commit suicide. Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy become his unlikely heroes. Of course he isn't too grateful that they stopped him from being with his family but they are determined to help him survive the war and future.

Heed Warnings!

A/N: Warnings: slash HP/DM, attempted suicide, HG/BZ, GW/NL, SS/RL...don't like don't read...

Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling, also known as the Sirius killer, Dumbledoor murdering, author of Harry Potter. ;P Or Nickelback cuz I used their song, heh, almost forgot that.

Title: Too Many Scars

Chapter One: Savin' Me

He stared at his wrists. They were calling out for his razor or knife, heck anything sharp would do. He knew this wasn't the best way to go. Suicide. It was indeed an intriguing thought. Death was just the next great adventure. He smirked and wondered what Dumbledore would say if he left that as a note after he was gone. The thought sobered him some. Was he really going to do this? Could he? Slowly thoughts came to mind of all the times he was imprisoned here. All the times he told Dumbledore how the Dursleys treated him simply to be brushed aside as if it were nothing. It was that knowledge that proved his theory. No one cared about Harry; all they cared about was Harry Potter, the one with the power to defeat the Dark Lord. The Boy-Who-Lived and all that shit. He was the maid cleaning up someone else's mistakes. The tool for everyone to use and put back, whether he was okay where they placed him or not. Well not anymore. He was going to live his life how he wanted or not at all. He was tired of having to look over his shoulder every 5 minutes for fear of having Voldemort creeping up on him or his "friends." He was going to be free after this. You can hold in a man's body but not his mind. And this mind had done some serious thinking over the last school year. All he really wanted was for someone to _see_ him, Harry. To be there when he needed them and not the other way around.

**Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'**

He knew that leaving the wizarding world in chaos was wrong, very wrong. But his sense of right and wrong left with Sirius. Sirius had loved him for him, it seemed anyway. He wasn't entirely sure about that even. Sometimes he caught Sirius looking at him in a way that seemed to scream "You're nothing like James, where did you go wrong?" He wondered briefly if Sirius had been disappointed before he had fallen through the veil; disappointed he hadn't been able to ensure Harry was just like James. And yeah is as powerful, if not more so, than his father. But that isn't what he held in high regards like James had. He just wanted one thing, the thing he had been denied his entire life. He wanted someone to say "I love you, Harry." Just Harry. No Potter. If someone had been willing to say that and mean it then maybe he wouldn't be here now. Maybe he could live again. But apparently he wasn't worth the trouble to actually love. No, they simply pretended so they could cash in when he was dead. The saddest part is that it didn't even hurt anymore. He was that used to the idea of being used.

**Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me**

Well no need to delay the inevitable.

_Slice._

There, it is done. Harry didn't believe in the saying "Good-bye cruel world," no they were to dramatic. But he did believe in tradition. So Harry opted for "Everyone say good-bye to my worthless existence."

He watched in fascination as the blood flowed as freely down his arm as a river went downstream. Harry had gone across his wrist, even though he had heard that going down his arm would be faster, because he wanted to see if anyone would try and save him. He was giving them a chance. Not much of one, but better than nothing.

Dots started clouding his vision. _Good thing I sent those letters. I don't think anyone would notice the Savior of the wizarding world is dead until the beginning of school. And September is so far away. Who knows, maybe I'll even get a sympathizer or two. _He thought with a laugh. No one would understand enough to sympathize with him. They would all be outraged that he had killed himself. He'd probably go down in the history books as The Boy Who Lived To Let Everyone Down. He chuckled a little at that. Wouldn't that just be ironic? The one fated to save them gives them up on a silver platter for the Dark Lord. He smiled. But once again sobered as he remembered what and who he had done this for. Oh no, he hadn't done this _just_ for himself. No he did this to save any loved ones he had left. Remus, Neville, Luna maybe. The rest were dead. Because of him. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes as he thought of the ones lost. But he was going to see them soon. So soon. It seemed no one did care. If they did they would have been here by now. He could thoroughly feel all of his body heat fleeing. Slowly but surely.

Suddenly he heard something downstairs, his aunt and uncle throwing a fit because _his kind_ were in the house.

_Bam!_

Apparently someone did come to save him because they just burst through the door that Harry had personally and painstakingly took the time to put a privacy charm on, with wandless magic of course. _It really is a shame they're too late. Whoever they are they obviously wanted to try and save me. _ He decided that with his dying breath he would show his gratitude, "Thank you, but you're too late."Harry's last thought was _The pains gone. I think I like dying._

A/N: Well there you go. How'd you like it? Leave a review please if you did like it. If not well just say you didn't.

Harry: Why am I always the suicidal freak?

Me: You're not a freak. And come on! You think it's your fault you parents, almost friend, and godfather are dead. And the only people in the world that might give a shit are Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy. Face it your life sucks.

Harry: *sigh* you have a point.

Me: I always do.

Until next time…


	2. Help Me

Disclaimer: Once again only the plot is mine. And boy is it a used one. But oh well it _is_ mine now. The characters belong solely to J. K. Rowling and the song belongs to Nickelback.

A/N: Draco will be introduced in the next chapter!

My Thanks to:

Fox Loves Shinigami

Konohashinobi0

For actually taking the time to review my fic. Your opinion is much appreciated so people don't ever be afraid to comment on something! I simply ask for no flames. There's a difference between criticism and just being an ass.

Title: Too Many Scars

The second he woke up Harry knew where he was. Only the Hospital Wing had such a scent. Sterile but warm, almost no smell at all but still no other aroma could smell as comforting. He heaved a great sigh of frustration. He wasn't dead. He had, once again, failed. He could practically _feel _the depression, that had taken over his once jovial life, deepen. Why? Why couldn't they just let him go? Why did they have to torture him so by making him stay alive in his miserable existence?_ Damn it! Don't they get it? Don't they see that I just want to die?! _Though he admitted that he wanted someone to save him, he hadn't actually wanted them to _succeed._ Harry had just wanted to know that _some_one cared enough about his life—hell his mission even!—try and save him.

That's when he realized Madam Pomfrey had yet to descend upon him. Maybe he had time. Maybe just maybe he could still go through with his plan. The moment the idea popped into his head he scrambled to get out of the hospital bed. Struggling with the sheets, they seemed determined to hold him in place, he didn't even notice when Severus walked up to his bed.

"Potter. What _are_ you doing?" the snarky voice pushed through the haze of temporary joy surrounding Harry's mind.

"Uhh um..erm..Well.." was the clever reply Harry gave back. _Of course I'll have guards. I'll probably be on suicide watch for the next month! Double damn!_

"Very intelligent Mr. Potter. Now in English please?" The obviously amused Professors voice asked.

"Just trying to go to the bathroom, sir. That's all." Harry's mind quickly came up with a suitable lie for him virtually tearing the bed sheets to shreds in his strive for freedom. He had noticed that after all his time with the Dursleys he had become an expert on finding quick easy lies. Vaguely he wondered if that was his Slytherin side coming to light.

"As much as I highly doubt that, the bathroom is right this way," was the sarcastic respond.

"You're…You're going to go with me?" asked Harry, hating how his voice ever so slightly squeaked, betraying how much he disliked the idea.

"Seeing as how in the past 24 hours you tried to commit suicide, then yes, I am going to follow you to the bathroom. Then I will place a monitoring charm on you so I may know if you wish to try again. Now if you please," said Snape as he pointed toward the bathroom door. Harry sighed and made his way to it.

Snape stopped him before he could go in, keeping good on his word he placed a monitoring charm on Harry. Glowering, Harry pushed open the door and slammed it shut.

Little did he know that it wasn't _just_ a monitoring charm. It actually let Severus feel what Harry is feeling. And the instant he placed it, Severus was glad Harry slammed the door. Severus actually staggered from the weight of the emotions. They were…devastating. _Is this really how he feels? Merlin what did you do to him Albus? My Slytherins don't even feel such despair. _ Thoughts raced through Severus' mind as to how the Gryffindor Golden Boy would feel so…so hopeless. Something just didn't add up. That's when he felt the emotions dip even more, if possible. He threw open the door standing between him and Ha-Potter. Wondering what on earth could cause such emotions plunge further. Only to see Harry standing in front of the mirror, staring at himself. Harry jumped at Snapes' unexpected entrance but quickly saved face as he snarled "What? Can't I get at least a little bit of peace?"

"I..apologize, for startling you. My charm informed me that your emotions were leaning more toward suicidal feelings."

"Yeah well seeing, never mind. Just get out" Harry growled back.

Snape grumbled somewhat at being yelled at but complied with Harry's—_Potter's! _his mind screamed—wishes.

"Very well. Be out in ten minutes so Pomfrey can examine you."

"Fine"

**Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
And all I see is you  
These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And oh I scream for you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And all I need from you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'**

Harry couldn't believe it when Snape actually burst through the door to make sure _he_, Harry Potter—The Boy Who Wouldn't Just Freaking Die Already, Bane of every Slytherins existence, and number one on Voldemort's and Fudge's list—was okay. It had been…startling to say the least. _I can't think like this. He'll let me down just like everyone else. He doesn't _really_ care. Dumbledore probably had to blackmail him into being my babysitter. _

And so Harry continued what he had been doing before the interruption, deciding just who he saw in the mirror. He couldn't even understand how the face reflected could possibly be his. It was gaunt, with sunken in eyes and deep purple bruising beneath them. His lips seemed thinner than he remembered and torn. He had chewed on them multiple times when he was nervous but the bottom lip was now bloodied as it had never been before. In the back of Harry's mind he wondered when he bit it hard enough for it to bleed. Could it have been when he made the slice? He just didn't know. Slowly he ran his tongue over it, just to feel the pain. And for a second everything faded away. His worries dropped from his shoulders and he felt _free_. Just like he had when he made the decision that suicide would be best. _God I miss this. I need…I need to get a new knife. I—I still have some empty space on my thighs. No one would see them there. _Sadly the pain faded as his lip became used to the abuse and Harry sighed. He should probably go and face the music. And so with one last glance in the mirror, he left.

**Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me**

Severus couldn't even begin to comprehend the emotions pouring from beyond the door leading to Potter. Even during his childhood and into his teenage years when his own father beat him, he couldn't ever remember feeling such things. They spoke of loneliness the likes of which he had never felt, of depression he hadn't known was possible, and above all of the need to escape. He was empathetic towards the boy, to a point, but he still couldn't believe anything was worth ending your own life over. Severus had killed, raped and maimed, all in the name of a cause he had never believed in, but he still lived through it all and came out stronger. He had never considered _suicide_ to get rid of the demons forever haunting him. No, that was the coward's way out. And if there was one thing Severus Snape had never considered Harry Potter, it was a coward.

Severus sighed, realizing he would likely never completely understand why Potter had tried to put a stop to his life.

An instant later he felt a flash of joy from Harry. In an second he was worried, not that he'd admit it, but he knew from previous experiences with suicidal people that joy was the last thing you want them to feel moments after they realize they're still alive. That usually means that they think they've found a new way to off themselves. But the sensation died and Potter himself came out.

"Sir? Um well what do I do now?" The dullness of Harry's voice nearly made Snape flinch. The sound contained absolutely no joy and seemed to actually take the light of the day and make it seem sinister.

"Go back to your bed Mr. Potter. The Headmaster will be here shortly." Snape said in his most dispassionate voice possible. He didn't want to get tangled in the enigma that is the Boy Who Lived.

Har—_Potter damn it_—stared at him for a second before asking, "Why is he coming here?" in the same detached tone as Snape.

"To make sure his Golden Boy is okay, of course," he drawled, wondering if maybe the boy had lost too much blood and his brain was now defective. Of course the Headmaster would like to make sure Harry was okay. Why wouldn't he? He noticed how Potter grimaced at the most famed nickname. Curious as to what the hell that was about, he filed it away for later considerations.

"Now if you will…" Snape sneered as he pointed back toward the Infirmary. Harry made his way back with a large bat like shape as his shadow.

_God, can't _anyone _see me as Harry?_ Harry wondered as Snape called him "The Golden Boy." How he despised that name, and all the others for that matter. It was just another way to call him a tool. A weapon to be used in this war and put away when its uses are through. It made it easier for people to distance themselves from the person and simply make him an icon. You couldn't grieve for someone if you only saw them as a name in the first place.

And as Snape gestured in the direction of the Infirmary, Harry walked back to his bed, with Snape behind him every step of the way. Harry practically snarled at that. It's not like he had anything to kill himself with. And he couldn't summon enough hatred for himself to actually cast the Killing Curse on himself. Distantly Harry wondered if that was achievable. He smirked as the scene played out in his head. Oh it would be so easy. If only he could hate himself. His smirk quickly turned back to its impassive state as he saw Snape staring at him with the intent to pick his mind apart by simply using facial expressions.

"Can I help you, sir?" Harry asked. The staring was getting annoying and he knew the only way to stop it was to subtly let Snape know Harry had caught him.

Snape sneered but retained his silence.

And so with one problem solved, Harry moved back to important matters. Like how to kill himself, under obvious observation and before Dumbledore managed to make his way down here. But, as always, the thought of Dumbledore made Harry's blood boil. The man had brushed Harry aside every time—_every fucking time!—_that he asked to stay at Hogwarts for the summer. Hell Harry had even said he could work with Hagrid to keep the school ground up. But the outcome was always the same. Dumbledore told him "Now Harry, it can't be that bad. Just try to understand where your relatives are coming from and compromise. Now if you'll excuse me, my boy, I am very busy."

Seeing red, Harry did his best to calm down. And down did he come. Right back into the feelings he had before he left permanent scars on his wrists. Glumly he sat on his hospital bed in his regulatory hospital wing pajamas with Snape as his baby-sitter. He could think of only one thing, it soon became a mantra in his head to keep the time flowing _No one cares. No one listens. I hate them all._ _Fuck my life._

And with that Harry felt his life had even less value than before. To him a piece of dust had more right to be resting on this bed than he did.

Glaring at the ground for no particular reason other than he could, Harry waited.

**Hurry I'm fallin'**

All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh, I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

A/N: Chapter Two done! Hope you enjoyed it; it had much more meat to it this time. I couldn't seem to stop writing! Well I do so hope you will review!

Harry: I feel…deep, man.

Me: *Sigh* yes I know you actually felt true emotions.

Harry: So when do I get out of the whole "Suicide is the only way to go" thing?

Me: You'll just have to wait like everyone else, Harry. I don't play favorites.

Harry: But it's me!

Me: Hmph!

Haha until next time!


	3. Draco's Bad Day gets kind of Better

Disclaimer: I have no money so if you wish to sue me you will get nothing. Characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Not me. Though if they did….that's a thought for another time.

A/N: Yes finally some Draco! No song in this chapter sorry!

Chapter Three: Draco's Bad Day gets kind of Better

To say Draco Malfoy was confused at getting an assignment to go "check in" on Harry Potter, would be an understatement. Why on earth would Harry Bloody Potter _not_ be okay? He was worshipped by his relatives, was he not? So why did Draco and Severus have to take time out of their summer to go check on Potter? Life just wasn't fair sometimes.

And then his world was thrown upside down by said relatives when they tried to refuse that a Harry Potter lived there. They kept saying things like "We're just a normal family here! We don't have freaks like you around! We have no nephew!" _What weirdos_. But still he and his professor made into the house only to find that the wards around the place were failing! As there was no Voldemort lurking around Draco and Severus could only conclude that Harry Potter, Savior of the Wizarding World and only hope for the likes of them ever being free from the madman that kept them imprisoned, was dying. Yeah, to say that Draco was confused by his day's activities would indeed be a gross understatement.

And so he and the Potions Master searched the house. And as they reached the second floor, Severus saw a door covered in locks and had a cat flap. Draco felt his stomach sink. He couldn't _believe_that the Gryffindor Golden Boy was kept in such a room, but judging by the Muggles reactions to them just being there they were fairly certain that that room was the exact place Harry Bloody Potter was being kept. It took a moment but Severus managed to barge through the privacy charm placed around the room. It was quite powerful and had nearly kept them out.

The sight that Draco saw next would stay with him the rest of his life. There was Harry Potter, his school rival and most hated person, sitting on the floor with a pool of blood surrounding him. And the blood just kept coming! Pouring from his wrists, flowing as freely as a river. Draco blanched when he heard Potter speak the only words to him that weren't said in anger, "Thank you, but you're too late." And as Potter passed out Draco was sure he heard something along the lines of "liking dying" murmured. How could Potter do this to himself?

Severus was by Potter's side in an instant, doing his best to heal the slit wrists. He commanded Draco to grab the blood restoratives from the Potions professors robes and start getting them into the boy. Draco had snapped out of it and rushed to do as the older man said.

And so Draco spent the better part of the day keeping the Boy Who Lived to Try to Commit Suicide alive, if not so well.

The moment he was stable, Severus Portkeyed with Potter as Draco took his own Portkey. Appariation would have been easier but the possibility of splinching while side-appariating was much too great, especially for someone who had just recently been inches from death. Plus they'd have to walk up to Hogwarts from Hogsmeade if they Appariated. The wards around Hogwarts still prevented Appariation straight into Hogwarts. Dire conditions or not.

Draco landed in the Infirmary with a thud, and watched as his dark haired companion laid Potter in a hospital bed and called for Pomfrey. Draco had then left to go inform the Headmaster of what had happened at Number 4 Privet Drive.

With that done, Draco sighed as he followed the Headmaster back to Pomfrey's domain. This day just didn't want to end.

* * *

When Draco finally stalked through the hospital wing doors, he saw Potter sitting desolately on a bed, Severus pacing with obvious agitation and Pomfrey casting a few diagnostic spells on her only summer patient. She seemed quite grim.

"Well Poppy? How is Mr. Potter?" Draco snorted. The Headmaster had the _gall_ to ask that? It's evident that Potter is NOT okay considering he had just been having thoughts of suicide _and_ acting on said thoughts.

Pomfrey gave Dumbledore a sardonic stare that stated plainly "What the hell do you think?" But she answered, amiably, "Not well, sir. He has severe blood loss, though Severus did well to give him blood restoratives but they do not create blood as well as the body does, along with multiple older scars proving that cutting himself is a habit and he is very malnourished." She finished her results quietly, clearly unhappy with the outcome of her diagnosis.

Professor Dumbledore frowned in concern at Harry, but kept silent indicating Pomfrey to continue.

"Right, he also has several previously broken bones that were never set correctly, bruises littering his upper body and frankly his size is a cause for worry." She concluded in apparent distress. It was obvious what all Potter's contusions hinted at.

Dumbledore, Great Headmaster of Hogwarts, defeater of Grindelwald and most beloved figurehead for the Light side, had left Harry Potter with abusive Muggles. Fantastic.

Dumbledore, for his part, just stared at Pomfrey dumbstruck. As if he couldn't believe he had made a mistake, Draco mused.

Draco glanced at Severus to see his reaction, only to find him looking towards the source of the most awkward silence in _Hogwarts: A History_ ever. Draco followed his Potions Master's gaze and was greatly startled.

_You'd figure after having the two people you hate second most in the world find out you were abused and quite possibly still are, a guy would be embarrassed, uncomfortable at least. But no the Savior of the Wizarding World just _has_ to be different._

There, sitting on the hospital bed in hospital pajamas, was Harry James Potter. Smirking. And it wasn't just any kind of smirk. No it was _smug_. As if he knew something you didn't and he wasn't telling if you named the right price or not. It was the kind of facial feature that screamed "Ha!" complete with a tongue sticking out and his face scrunched up. Now Draco was curious.

"Mr. Potter," Snape's baritone cracked through the stillness, "is there something you would care to add?"

Potter noticeably struggled with getting the smirk off his face, "No, sir. Madam Pomfrey has it all correct." Draco had to give him credit, he sounded sincere. Then Draco tasted the words in his mind, as he did with everything said, and realized Potter didn't lie if he did have something to hide. Pomfrey got it all correct. Meaning what she said _so far_ is right. Clever.

"Good then you won't mind if I do this. _Finite incantatem!_" He had said it in such a lazy way no one would expect a spell at the end. The greasy haired professor just proved who was more clever.

Harry's eyes widened but no apparent details were different. Well unless you counted Potter was now glaring at his professor, but Draco didn't.

"Severus! What did you hope to accomplish with that?" scolded Pomfrey.

"He's hiding something Poppy. I simply wished to see if I could find out what." Replied Severus bluntly.

"But sir, what could I be hiding? Madam Pomfrey has already checked me over and dispelled all the glamour charms I had. What more could there be?" Once again Draco really had to hand it to the Boy Wonder, he was an amazing actor—to those who weren't already adept to it. His tone, while seemingly innocent and curious, had a distinct feel of sarcasm to it. It was a soft undertone so he could mock their obliviousness in his mind.

"Why don't you tell me, Mr. Potter? What else _could_ there be?" Draco grinned at Severus' scornful smile.

"N..Nothing! I'm not hiding anything." Potter stuttered. Great actor, bad liar. Draco filed that bit of info away for later. And as he was he felt a pang. A pang of…something. Guilt? _Damn it. I thought I got rid of any conscious when I came to Hogwarts. How can I feel bad about using this information against Scarhead in the future?_

_Maybe because Potter had just tried to make it so there _was_ no future for him, _the snide voice in his head commented.

_Well fuck._

Deciding moral considerations were best left for a time when he wasn't trying to figure Potter out, Draco tuned back into the conversation—more of an argument really—between Pot-head and Severus.

"Fine! If you don't believe just use Legilimency on me! If you think you can find something _else_ wrong with me, go for it!" _And I'll fight you the entire way_ Harry left unsaid, the last thing he needed was them actually positive about him hiding something. He looked to Dumbledore, a false hope that he would step in and not allow Snape free reign in Harry's mind. Good thing it was false because Dumbledore simply gestured for Snape to continue.

"Very well. I shall go through your mind, with your permission even. You now have three seconds to back out. After that I _am _going to be in your head and nothing you can do will get me out until I figure out what and why you're hiding things." Draco was surprised Snape didn't just delve into Potter's mind right off the bat. Trying to think of why, Draco stumbled across the guilt he felt earlier and wondered if Snape felt the same pang. _Intriguing. _

"One"

Potter sat obstinately with a blank expression that was completely belied by his clenching fists.

"Two"

"Well this should be interesting. Glad to have front row seats." Draco intoned.

"Last chance Potter! Three!"

A/N: I think I'll stop it here. Hmm should I? *ducks and covers* Yep I'm stopping here.

Harry: I…I just gave Snape _Snape!_ access to my mind. No limits, nothing! I How Why did you do this to me!

Me: For the drama of course.

Harry: Drama! Who enjoys reading about Snape pillaging my thoughts?? Raise your hands.

*Snape, Draco and whole Slytherin house raise hands. Far in the back, Voldemort and all Death Eaters raise hands*

Harry: Well…can't say I'm surprised.

Me: Hey! This is how you and Snape get closer toward being friends. Snape realizes he's been a complete bastard for a while and you realize Snape has been keeping your ass alive for all these years.

Harry: What does that have to do with _this!_ *points finger at dramatic ending*

Me: You'll see.

Draco and Severus: This is almost as good as the story itself.

TBC…until next time


	4. Cold Hard Truth

Disclaimer: Must we go through this every time? It seems so. Well I own none of the characters or any songs I may use.

To my wonderful reviewers:

Mrscakeakajane-I am pleased to hear you are enjoying my fic. Hope I don't disappoint!

Femalfarrier/Anna-Yes I am a very bad person for stopping. Got to keep you hooked though!

Chapter Four: Cold Hard Truth

Severus Snape is a difficult man to surprise. And even if you did manage to surprise him you wouldn't be happy about because he would take points, give a detention or simply be a bastard to you for the rest of your life. So not many people would try or care to surprise him. Of course Harry Potter lives for doing things he isn't supposed to do. Like surprising his Potions professor.

When Snape enters Harry's mind, he expects the disorganized mind—like the one he encountered during Occlumency lessons—of a teenager, but no the Boy Who Lived to Shock just _has_ to be different.

After landing in Harry's mind, Snape looks around to find himself in a plain white, circular room. And all around him were doors. Doors of all sorts. One was stout with a vent on the front; one looked to be a vault door, like at Gringotts, and one that looked to be the door of the Gryffindor dorms. They were all just random doors, but Severus knew that they all held certain meaning to the Gryffindor. Each one represented something and behind each door were the memories of what each one symbolized.

Tentatively, Severus made his way toward one that was shrouded in a black fog and was painted a deep blood red. Curious as to what was behind such a door in the mind of Potter, he opened it. It swung open easily and the Potions master was allowed to enter.

He was struck with pain the likes of which he knew too well. The Cruciatus curse is a bitch.

Then he saw the Dark Lord, small as a babe, and being dumped into a boiling cauldron. Next the duel between the Dark Lord and Potter popped in front of his eyes, the spirits of the dead floating about to save Potter.

And just as that memory faded the Department of Mysteries drifts into sight and Severus watches as Potter goes through hell to save the mangy mutt only to not be able to do anything as he falls through the veil. _Well if he had just trusted the Headmaster…_ thought Severus but there was no real heat in it.

_So this is where you are Snape. Interesting that you'd go to my worst Voldemort memories first, _Potters voice slid over Severus' mind.

_I am simply trying to figure out the meaning behind each door. Your mind is much more organized than before Potter. _

_Only the suicidal mind is this organized, Professor. If we have our priorities in order we can look through them and decide whether this is the right way to go or not. The second I thought of suicide my mind slowly began lumping memories together into categories so I could easily think of just one issue with my life and see all the things that prove that that issue is a real problem._

_Well it seems there _is_ one benefit of your self-destructive thoughts._

_These the only memories you've gone through? Not very fast at this are you? It's already been ten minutes and you've only seen a fraction of the memories I dislike so much._

_I haven't seen all of the memories behind this particular door? _

_Nope._ Severus could hear the smirk in Potter's thoughts. _You've seen the main ones though. I had many more visions then I let on you know. They weren't important, no information on what Voldemort would be doing. Just his usual torturing people and such._

_Hmm. I'm guessing if I ask behind which door are the memories I'm searching for I would be denied an answer._

_You would be entirely correct, sir._

_Very well. Leave me be and let me get on with what I came here to do._

_If you insist._

And with that the small awareness Severus had of Potter's voice was gone.

Thinking of the white room, he forced his mind to skip though going through the memories a second time to simply reach the door. Once more in the circular room he glanced around.

If only he could guess which doors held what. He shouldn't have been surprised that the door he just went through was for pain-filled Voldemort memories. The aura of the whole section of the wall where the door laid simply screamed of bloodshed. Taking another look around Severus surmised that the safe like door might be the way to go. It made sense, things not to be seen hidden by a massive door with a lock and key.

Severus made his way to the vault and pushed it open. He met with no resistance. He knew that he had chosen the wrong door again.

Inside this door was a flash of golden light and an intense feeling of happiness. Severus staggered under such emotion, it was pure and loving. Quickly righting himself, he looked around.

Harry's most treasured memories lied here. Hagrid giving him a birthday cake, getting his wand, getting Hedwig, meeting his soon-to-be best friends, flying for the first time, on and on it went. They were all small things. And as he grew older they became less and less.

_Now, now Snape, what _does_ one keep in a vault? Things they wish to keep safe, yes, but also things they cherish. Things they need to keep, precious things to be remembered and loved._

Severus had to admit Potter had a point. Just because you don't want someone to see something doesn't mean you'd keep them in a safe. No, you'd probably hide them in plain sight. A place no one would think to look. Severus knew exactly—in that one moment of thinking—where the memories he needed to find were stored. In the little unassuming door with the vent on the front. Didn't he hear Minerva say something about Potter living in the cupboard beneath the stairs as a child? (Of course he had written it off as rumors circulating as to why the boy wore rags). But maybe it had some merit to it.

_Well Potter, it seems you have a point. But you just gave me the last piece of the puzzle as to where you might hide some things that you didn't want everyone to know. And for that I thank you._

Severus could practically hear the scream of frustration that Potter let out. He actually heard the mental swearing Potter was doing. Occasionally he even heard Parseltongue. He mentally smirked. Snape 1, Potter 0.

And so following what he had done before to get out of the memories that drifted by him, he found himself in the white room once more.

Looking around he found that the door he was seeking was no longer in the same place it had been before. As a matter of fact, he couldn't find the door anywhere on the surface of the walls. But of course Severus wasn't a master Occlumens and Legilimens for nothing. He walked around in the circle; trailing his fingers along the wall. If the cupboard door was simply concealed he would be able to feel the door.

Success! It was squashed between what Severus guessed to be dormhood memories and the vault. Pushing against it, he realized he must have the right place for it didn't swing open as the other doors he had tried had. _You make it so easy Potter. This door was the last place I would have looked. Hide things in plain sight and they're never seen. Very Slytherin of you Potter._

_I try. Good luck getting through Snape. This one's locked up as tight as a Gringotts vault._ Harry's inner voice was unbearably smug.

Potter wasn't lying. Snape would have to do something drastic to get through to the memories he needed to see.

_Why do you need to know so badly, Snape? Just tell them it was grieving over Sirius. They'll believe you. It's what they blame all my "abnormalities" on. Just leave it be. You don't care anyway. Leave. Just go away and get out of my mind. _

Snape could tell Potter was desperate now. He really didn't want anyone to know what had caused him to think about suicide. But Snape wasn't just doing this for Dumbledore and Pomfrey. No he himself was curious. After running around unchecked in Potter's mind he had felt all his prejudices about Potter become false. He had a feeling that Potter was very similar to himself and he needed to know. Because deep inside his own mind Snape felt guilty. The last thing an abused child needs is to hear about how much someone who they have never met before hates them and thinks they're worthless for being born. They already get that from their attackers. And so Snape needed to know what made Potter try to do what the Dark Lord has been trying to accomplish since Potter was born so that he might clean his conscious. It couldn't have been his fault, but he needed proof.

Snape looked (or rather didn't) at the door that hid all he needed to know. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Snape was going to get through that door. One way or another.

Finally Snape thought of a way to get through. It was incredibly dangerous and stupid. He was going to be a Gryffindor for a moment. Gathering up as much power as he could muster, Snape rammed his mind with Potter's.

* * *

Snape fell through the door. And into a memory he hoped to never see again. But it wasn't the only one, pain filled memories, frantic pleas coming from each one. Sadness overwhelmed Snape as he scrambled backwards. He _had_ to get out of here.

_White room, white room, white room. _

Vaguely Snape was aware of a cackling laugh in the background of the memories. It was Potter's.

_Now you know. Do you feel better? Does it rest your mind to know? Go back now, go run and tell Dumbledore that his precious Boy-Who-Lived was ruthlessly raped! By the very people Dumbledore expected to protect me! It's not I that am fucked up for considering suicide Professor Snape, no, it's the world for _not_ consdiering it_

The mad laughter continued as Potter fell back into the deeper recesses of his mind and Snape high tailed it out of his mind.

TBC…

Do to seriousness of this chapter there will be no funnies at the end. Sorry…


	5. How Could We Be So Wrong?

Disclaimer: *sigh* this again? Repeat after me "The author of this fic does not own Harry Potter characters or any songs she may use." Good?

Once again to my wonderful reviewers:

Mrscakeakajane-Thank you! It's good to know that you _are_ enjoying the fic. Yes Harry is kinda fucked up right now. He's kinda dark and demented inside. But don't worry, he's got help ;P

Chapter Five: How Could We Be So Wrong?

Outside of Harry's mind:

"Albus, do you really believe that that was a good idea? We all know that Severus and Harry hate each other; they only tell us every year. Letting him have free reign in a fifteen year old boys mind…Albus! Are you even listening?!"Madam Pomfrey all but screeched at the end.

"Hmm?...yes, yes Poppy I'm listening. You know Severus wouldn't knowingly injure Harry." Albus' mind was obviously elsewhere; his entire demeanor telling anyone who looked that he was only half paying attention. It seemed he just couldn't come to terms that he put the Savior of the Wizarding World in mortal danger.

As Albus continued his musings, Poppy cast a few diagnostic charms Harry's way. They were telling her she's missing something, but damn it if she could uncover it. She was terribly worried about the boy. He was so scrawny, and all the scars littering his body. She couldn't even imagine what he'd been through.

Just as Poppy cast another diagnostic charm at Harry, this one twice as strong as any she cast before as it was fueled by her anger towards Albus, Severus fell back into his own body. And Harry fell back onto his bed, unconscious after having his mind practically torn apart.

"Good God!! They..he..he was only…I don't believe it…" Severus shuddered. He couldn't grasp the emotions that were rolling through him. With a start he realized that part of them weren't his. _The monitoring charm._ In an instant he cancelled the charm and still he couldn't sort through the emotions bombarding him.

"Severus," Dumbledore said in a soothing way, "Severus what happened? What's wrong?"

"Albus, they..his uncle..Merlin…" Severus practically growled at himself, he couldn't even get a sentence out! He'd seen things such as this before, he'd been a Death Eater for Merlin's sake!

"Just start from the beginning Severus."

"Right, I got into his mind—expecting it to be terribly messy—but instead came upon a white room with multiple doors. Of course each one meant something to Potter and all I had to do was figure out which one was hiding the information I needed. I was right Albus, he was keeping something to himself, only I wish I hadn't seen it." In that moment Albus was deeply distressed, for Severus—a man who did things that would make Moody cringe for a cause he didn't believe in—to not want to have seen it, _Sweet Merlin just what have I done?_

"I had to ram our minds, I got the impression that the information was that important."

"Severus! You could have gotten yourself permanently stuck in Harry's mind! You could have made Harry go insane because he had two personalities in his body! Sweet Merlin, you could have"

"Yes yes I know what I could have done, woman! I _am_ a master Legilimens." In a show of characteristic anger, Severus got himself completely off topic. Albus, badly needing to know what the bloody hell happened said "We know Severus, now what happened!"

"They…rather his uncle…Albus Vernon Dursley…raped him." Finally Severus put into words what troubled him so greatly. Only Albus, like Severus, wished he hadn't known.

Poppy let out a gasp of outrage; it was one of the things he charm wouldn't register. You had to specifically look for _that_. All the blood fell from Draco's face.

"That's not all."

That one sentence made everyone in the room eyes widen. What _else_ could they have done?!

"He..branded him, Harry's back has three words carved into it."

Poppy rushed into action. She torn off mandatory hospital issue pajama top, gently maneuvered Harry onto his side; and nearly cried at what it revealed. There, on the one to save them all's back were the three words Murderer, Freak, and Abomination.

A horrendous laugh filled the room as Poppy uncovered them. It was filled with bitterness and loathing. It sounded like the laugh of a madman, it reminded Albus all too much of one Tom Riddle.

"So you _did_ see that little bit, Professor," Harry spat out the word as if it were poison. Harry rolled back onto his back and sat up. "Spread the word already, have you? Didn't even let me make a grand spectacle of it all. How disappointing." Words from his mouth dripped with disdain and sarcasm. Each one tore at the gentle reality the four had tried to create. They all hoped for the best after Severus uncovered the truth, Harry _had_ to be okay. But now he was such a far cry from the boy he used to be. His entire aura had changed, he screamed of a person who had seen the edge of the earth and came back none the better for it. As if he'd seen the end of it all and decided it wasn't worth it.

"Sheesh, you people are bad at this. I can tell what each of you is thinking. Madam Pomfrey here is going "Such a nice boy, he was such a nice boy. How could they do this to him?" He said it in a false falsetto, making it all the more insulting.

"Malfoy over there is thinking of every little thing he's ever done to me and wondering "How the hell could I do that to someone like this?!" And dear, dear _Professor_ Snape is trying to gouge his own eyes out at the memory he saw. But ah ah ah I _did_ warn you sir." Wagging his finger towards Severus, Harry made it clear he felt no remorse for anything Severus was feeling at the moment.

"And for the grandest of us all" he made it sound as though he were in awe of Dumbledore, but everyone flinched at the statement. "Yes, the most wonderful, all powerful Headmaster Dumbledore! Greatest wizard of the century! And he couldn't even be bothered to send someone to check in on his pawn. Couldn't even think of the consequences of his actions because hey, he's all knowing, there's no _way_ he could be wrong. No certainly not the magnificent Professor Dumbledore."

All of them grimaced at how on the mark he was.

"You're pathetic. ALL OF YOU!"

"Harry, my boy"

"Don't you FUCKING DARE call me _that_"

"Very well" the Headmaster nodded his agreement "but Harry I had no idea. I hadn't realized you were abused."

"To this extent you mean. You had to have some idea. How does someone who is supposedly pampered come back each year smaller and…and dirtier each fucking year?" Dumbledore hung his head in shame, it was true. He had known that the Dursleys weren't the ideal home for Harry. But it was the only place he was safe. From Voldemort anyway. _How could I have been so wrong?_ Dumbledore was taking a big dose of reality and it was a harsh medicine to take.

"I know I have failed you Harry."

"No you don't. You don't realize just how much you have failed me Dumbledore. You know that you have but to the degree you have you are still clueless. I looked up to you for _so_ long through all the times they did beat me, through all the times I was starved and hidden away so that they might have a "normal life." Every time I thought "just think of what Dumbledore would say to you right now. He'd go 'come now Harry _it's not that bad_.' And because I thought so much of you I'd tell myself to stick it out, I could take all this and whatever else they can throw at me. Because Dumbledore's right, Voldemort could do so much worse. But then they did exactly what Voldemort would do. They found a new way to try and break me. But this time they succeeded." By this point Dumbledore and Pomfrey were openly crying and the two Slytherins had hung their head so that no one would notice their eyes watering. His speech was so emotionally inclined you would literally have to be made of stone to not feel something. _He probably _could_ make a stone cry,_ Snape thought sardonically.

"And then just right after he violated me, he decided I should always remember what I am. I should always remember his _lessons_. As if I would forget this one. And he got out a knife, just a normal kitchen knife. And he made it so I would _never_ forget him and his lessons." Now Harry himself was crying, sobbing really. His story barely intelligible but even if you couldn't hear what he was saying the despair, the shame, the pure anguish made it clear that he was well and truly broken. You didn't need to know the story to get the outcome of it all.

"So he carved the three most used words in the Dursley household, Freak Murderer and of course Abomination. Right onto my back. God that hurt so much. Not necessarily physically but rather mentally I realized that if there were wards around this house, should they not have alerted the one holding them, that hey the one they're supposed to be protecting is being treated as though Voldemort himself had captured me? In that moment I felt depression take its hold. I literally felt myself become hollow. I felt the fabric of my being unravel. But ironically enough my mind, the puzzle it is, came together and formed a nice neat little plan. Suicide. Such a sweet word. It held me like a mother would, encouraged me like a father should, and in the end led me to the path I most wanted. The one that would get rid of this pain. And you took me away from it, Dumbledore. After all I've been through it's the fact that you still won't let your pawn go that sickens me the most and makes me realize how badly you have fallen."

Everyone was struck speechless. Their minds grappled with the knowledge that, inadvertently or not, they caused this. They made this not yet sixteen year old think death was the only way to go and that they were keeping him here out of sheer spite. Had they not already been doing so, Poppy, Dumbledore, Draco and Severus would have hung their heads in shame. Harry nodded. Satisfied at last it seemed.

"Now, now you feel a _tenth_ of what I feel. Enjoy it. And since you're all so hell bent on making sure I stick around for awhile, don't worry, I won't be trying suicide again. I mean I do have Voldemort to think of." They all understood the message veiled in those words, loud and clear. _I'll kill Voldemort and make sure he takes me with him._

"Now if you would I do need to be healed. As there were obvious injuries you didn't know about Madam Pomfrey, would you kindly heal them?" Harry's persona had gone from kind, if not shy, boy to the hardened shell of a man. He had suffered abuse the likes of which few knew of, but he usually still came out better. Now though, now his innocence died in the worse possible way.

"Of course dearie." She said kindly. Not taking offense to his rudeness. Not now when she knew where it came from. Especially when she checked him over every year and never thought to ask if something was amiss at home. She had always chalked it up to boys being boys. _How could I have been so wrong?_ Not realizing she was echoing Dumbledore's thought only half an hour ago.

As Poppy busied herself with getting the right potions and salves, Dumbledore looked at Harry and simply said "I'm so very sorry, my..Harry."

"Me too, Headmaster. Me too."

And with that Dumbledore left the Infirmary, thoughts weighing heavily on his mind.

(Was going to end it hear but thought you deserved a long chapter finally).

* * *

"There you go Mr. Potter. You should be all fixed up, everywhere this time." Poppy chimed with a smile.

The side of Harry's mouth lifted up into what could have been considered a smile, but turned out to be a bit more of a grimace.

"Thank you Madam Pomfrey." His voice vibrated through the room.

"No problem Harry, it _is _my job you know." She gave him another beaming smile. It seemed she was going to make her realm cheery, whatever the circumstances. Harry had to give it to her; she was trying to make everything normal. But that was just it, nothing between the five of them would ever be normal again. Not after everything they had witnessed. Not after everything that had been said—or not said.

"Now Harry, I want you to stay near the Infirmary for the remainder of the summer so that I might keep an eye on you." Obviously her parental/patient oriented instincts were coming into light.

This time Harry really did almost smile.

"Yes, ma'am. Wouldn't dream it any other way."

Severus had to hand it to the kid; he could have been an amazing Slytherin. He knew they would be expecting him to brood and sulk around when they kept him under close wraps. But he took the high road when none of them thought he still could. He still had some of his old self in there, he was just buried under years of abuse and recent torture.

Draco noticed the same thing as Severus. And became determined to find out just who Harry Potter is. Though it seemed obvious that even Potter didn't know who he was. It was like he couldn't tell if he should be the guy he used to be or the person he had almost become or even somewhere in between. As organized as his mind might be, his soul was in pieces.

The Potions professor and Harry's now ex-rival both took vows right there to help the battered and broken man in front of them.

* * *

_Dumbledore's P.O.V_

Harry had been raped. His innocence ripped away from him by the relatives Dumbledore had left him with. Dumbledore's mind still struggled with such knowledge.

_Do I really believe myself infallible like the community thinks? Have I finally gotten so high up that the inevitable fall came? I…I was actually so arrogant that I thought I'd never fail. How could I? I mean I _am_ Dumbledore the Headmaster of Hogwarts, most powerful wizard of the century and defeater of Grindelwald. _He thought with a snarl.

_God how could I have been so foolish as to think that Vernon Dursley wouldn't take it this far? I'd seen the way Harry came back every year. He asked me year after year to stay here at Hogwarts for Merlin's sake! I knew they kept him in the cupboard under the stairs for years, and I didn't do a damn thing about it. And I've cost the most important man in this era his sanity. _Dumbledore stopped on his way to his office. Is that all he could think of? How _important_ Harry was? With a slight stumble, Dumbledore realized what Harry was saying. He only now knew how much he had let Harry down not only because of what he let happen, but because of the fact that he bought into the whole Boy Wonder façade as well. He had let this all happen because he couldn't look at Harry as _Harry._

_Merlin this war…it must be won…at what cost? Dear gods above what can I do?_

But in the recesses of his soul, Dumbledore knew. He had to go to Harry and explain the epiphany he had just had. To tell Harry that now he understood just how far he had fallen. And, above all else, give Harry a reason to live beyond killing the Dark Lord. To make him _want _to live again. More determined than ever before, Dumbledore finally made it to his office. He would need to think about exactly what to say before he faced Harry again.

_I _will_ help him. I _have _to help him. This is mostly my fault. _

* * *

_Draco's P.O.V_

Draco stalked out of the Infirmary, the thoughts occupying his mind practically made him want to jump off the Astronomy Tower. _But Potter would want to come with_, he grimaced at the scene.

_Yes it would play out nicely wouldn't it? Malfoy Murders Boy Who Lived And Kills Self! No one would have to know that Potter came willingly. How could we have been so wrong about him? _A bitter smile crept onto Draco's face as he made his way to his rooms. Wouldn't it be hoot to finally realize he didn't want to be a Death Eater, only to go and do the one thing the Dark Lord wants most?

Dumbledore had given him sanctuary here at Hogwarts since his father had escaped Azkaban. Draco grimaced at the thought of the Dark Mark on his arm. That was the last thing he wanted. And now that he was here—just barely a week into the summer hols—his entire world gets turned upside down and all the rumors of one Harry Potter become reality.

_I would say fuck my life, but his is worse than mine! Sure Lucius had given me the cane every now and again—like when Potter or Granger bested me—but ye gods! To starve and rape someone. He was right, that's exactly what Vol..the Dark Lord would do. _

Draco entertained the idea of apologizing to Potter, but then thought of how he reenacted Draco.

_The last thing _he_ wants is to be pitied. But then how do I act around him now? Things can't be normal. If I go back there and try to be buddy buddy with him he'll probably tear my throat out. Merlin he just had to go and make everything topsy turvy! Maybe I should talk to Severus. See how he feels about all this._

And so with that plan in mind, Draco changed his route and started for Severus's private rooms.

* * *

_Severus's P.O.V_

Moments after telling the story of his trip through memory lane and Harry's heartfelt speech, Severus went to the nearest lavatory to vomit. The image of Harry, face down with that _thing_ on top of him. It was burned into his retinas, continually scorching his mind. Harry had been right; Severus did want to gouge his eyes out. And then, Merlin, the man had grabbed that kitchen knife while Harry had still been trying to recover from the shock of what just happened to him.

_Dursley enjoyed it. He sat there with a bloodthirsty grin and that knife and was _ecstatic_ to be able to have such control over Harry. That man is more a Death Eater than the Dark Lord himself._ Severus shuddered and dry heaved again. After his stomach finally decided to stop twisting into itself, he stood up and splashed cool water on his face. Severus sighed as the water hit his face.

_How could I have been so wrong about his home life? Some of my Slytherins go through similar things and I _always_ notice the signs. Could I have been that blinded by my hate for James?_

_I should talk to him_ the thought came unbidden to Severus's mind.

_Why?_

_To apologize…or…or something!_

_He already said he doesn't want pity. _

_Then to empathize with him._

_You've never been in that position. How can you empathize?_

_Then to at least find out how I'm supposed to act around him! I feel as awkward as a Hufflepuff in a fight!_

Just then it hit Severus that he was arguing with himself…and losing spectacularly. He growled under his breath and swept out of the bathroom. He would discuss it with Draco.

* * *

_Normal P.O.V_

Harry sat idly on the Hospital Wing bed, swinging his legs over the side he decided to try and find his new room. Madam Pomfrey had said it was nearby. Not even thinking of the chaos he could cause by not being where he was supposed to be—or not caring—Harry made his way out of the Infirmary without a note of warning or backward glance.

_It's so peaceful without the thunder of student's footsteps. _Harry enjoyed the silence as he ran his hand along the castle's walls. He never did get the chance to truly appreciate the beauty of it all when he was in such a rush to get to his next class or Quidditch practice.

_Life's too short to be spending it running around like a Hippogriff without its head. _Harry giggled at the picture it formed. _I think I'm starting to sound like Luna. Is this how she feels all the time? Detached and lonely?_ Noticing the darker turn of his thoughts Harry cut himself off from that train of thought.

_Hmm…cut…wonder if Pomfrey has a monitoring charm on me as well? All it would take is a little conjuring and *poof* I could have a lovely blade._

Not liking who he had become, he shook his head to rid himself of the desire.

Still in a daze he accidentally ran his hand over a portrait.

"Excuse me, if you would watch where you're putting your hands." The voice was not unkind, but the owner didn't seem all too friendly either.

Starting, Harry stuttered out, "Oh I'm sorry! I wasn't paying any attention to what I was doing. Sorry."

"Just quit apologizing. What had your mind so wrapped up that you didn't even note your own hand trailing over a very elaborate picture frame?" The portrait seemed genuinely interested, Harry figured _what the hell?_

"Well first it was the castle herself, she's beauty personified. But..um, well recently some secrets of mine were thrown into the open and I was just…er I guess I was…trying to figure out who I am. There that sounds right." Quite proud of himself by the end of his explanation, Harry gave a wry smile to the man.

"She is isn't she?" the man in the painting said with a smile. "Secrets? And what kind of secrets can a lad your age have that he doesn't want out that desperately?"

"Umm…well I'm still not entirely comfortable discussing them." Harry completely disregarded his spiel simply an hour before. Honestly Harry wasn't entirely sure _what_ he felt about what happened to him.

"Come now, lad. It can't be all that bad."

How Harry loathed that phrase now. It was what Dumbledore always said when he wanted to merely sweep a matter under the proverbial rug. Seeing red for a moment, Harry jerked himself back to the conversation and said, in the most apathetic voice he could muster, "I was abused for my entire life, mentally and physically, then raped and…and branded." He smirked a little when the man's eyes widen to comical proportions.

"Now tell me sir, is it that bad? Because I sure as hell thought so."

"My, my…just who are you?"

"Weren't you paying attention? I have no clue who I am." Harry's statement oozed cynicism. "But I go by Harry, Harry Potter."

"You're the one they expect to kill ole Moldywart??"

Harry was torn between saying thanks for the vote of confidence and laughing his arse off. He settled for "And who might you be?"

"Don't you recognized me, lad? I'm Slytherin, Salazar Slytherin." The man wore arrogance like a cloak, _should have known._

"My apologizes, sir. They don't teach us much of the Founders. The most I know is that you and Gryffindor are male while Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are female. And of course your House colors."

"Ah ah, don't assume that simply because we chose those colors for the Houses we represent, that they are our House colors." His voice had taken on a lecturing tone, and Harry was curious so he asked the obvious question,

"Pardon? I'm not following."

"The House of Slytherin's colors are actually dark green yes, but with brown, not silver. Gryffindor used red and purple" then in a conspiratorial whisper "they liked to stand out you see." And with the sound of a town gossip, "And Hufflepuff had yellow and pink, always thought they were a bit funny in the head. Always made me want pink lemonade. And Ravenclaw, blue and grey. We couldn't have let Hogwarts Houses use our family colors but everyone just assumes that they're our House colors because why else would we chose those colors?"

"Why couldn't you let the Hogwarts Houses use your actual House colors?" well and truly confused, Harry took the stance of an eager student.

"To simply put it, they all weren't family. It _was_ considered rude to where another House's colors if you weren't actually related. And each family had the House colors they thought represented their House best. Slytherins like blending in, makes hiding and skulking about easier. Gryffindors wanted to be noticed. Hufflepuff wanted to be seen as calm and gentle. And Ravenclaw didn't really care. Which is why she chose a color close to her own House. She just wanted to get back to her books and knowledge."

"Wow. See they never tell us these things in school." With a start Harry realized he was practically pouting.

"They expect you to know. Purebloods are supposed to pass down the House colors and keep up tradition."

"Well Muggle born wizards and witches are coming in abundance, and they don't know all these rules. No one bothers to explain them."

"I take it you are Muggle born yourself?"

"Well not technically. I mean I was Muggle raised, but my father was a Pureblood." Harry stammered. He was still unclear to the specifics of his parents.

"Yes, the Potter clan. If I remember correctly you are actually related—incredibly distantly—to myself and Rowena."

"Really? I never knew. Wow, I'm related, however distantly, to _two_ Founders. That's just, wow. What about the Weasleys? Do you know if they're related to any Founders?"

"Weasley, Weasley…ah yes! They are second in line for the sole heir of Gryffindor as a matter of fact, just behind the Longbottoms, dreadful surname that is. I mean why would you want your family to be named after…." But Harry stopped listening. Neville was the heir to Gryffindor, and Ron was his cousin or something of that nature. And he, _he_ was related to Slytherin and Ravenclaw. He _had_ to tell them!

Suddenly he felt an emotion rising in him he hadn't felt since the Triwizard Tournament. Excitement. Extraordinary. Harry was _feeling_ again. That alone made a bubble of laughter to swell up in his chest and burst forth from his mouth.

Slytherin stopped and looked at the boy worriedly, his hysterical laughter seemingly coming from nowhere.

"I say are you alright there lad?"

But Harry, in his euphoria, didn't hear him or once more didn't care.

_God it feels good to laugh. This is how it feels when I have my knife; maybe…maybe I don't need it anymore. I did say I would be here to kill Moldywart_ another snicker erupted from his mouth, _but I might accidently cut too deep. Madam Pomfrey said that there's a vein on my thigh that I can bleed out of faster than if I slit my throat. Hmm…_

"HARRY! HARRY!! WHERE ARE YOU?!" the concerned and frustrated voice of Madam Pomfrey drifted up the corridor and interrupted Harry's frenzy.

"Well" giggle "it seems" snicker "I must be" chuckle "going now." Finally getting himself under complete control Harry managed a full sentence, "May I visit you again sometime, sir? It was nice talking to someone who just wants to chat."

Eyeing him carefully, Salazar said "Of course, lad. Whenever you like. Just come up here to my portrait and if I'm not here simply call my name and I should arrive shortly. It was nice indeed to have an enthusiastic student once more."

Harry nodded his thanks and took off in the direction of Pomfrey's voice. Realizing he had walked farther than he had anticipated Harry made sure to memorize the way to Salazar's frame. It would just suck to finally meet someone he was related to only to forget where to find him.

Still just following the racket Pomfrey was causing, Harry didn't pay attention as he rounded a corner.

_Smack!_

"Shit!" Harry hissed as his head struck the stone floor. _Of course _he'd run into someone when he was in a hurry.

"Well well, Potter strikes again." A deep baritone reached Harry's ears.

And, _of course_, it'd be Snape. Murphy's Law and all that.

"Sorry, Professor. I was trying to get to Madam Pomfrey, wasn't paying attention." Harry said as he scrambled to right himself. Being splayed on his back was not a position he wanted to be in. When he and Snape were both finally standing, Harry felt himself get dizzy. For a moment the entire world swayed and he waited for the walls of Hogwarts to stop moving before he looked up to his Professor. With a start he realized just how short he was compared to his Potions professor. Harry's eyes reached the hollow of Snape's throat of the approximately six foot two man.

"Potter, are you…is your head okay? You seemed to have hit it dreadfully hard." His voice was kind of fuzzy to Harry. The whole corridor was kind of fuzzy now that he thought about it.

"Potter? Potter!"

Why was Snape falling? Harry reached out to help Snape and realized that it was _him_ that was falling, not Snape. Weird.

Snape caught Harry and gently laid him on the cold floor, hoping the cold would keep him awake. "Harry stay with me, keep your eyes open. Stay awake Harry. Come on, Madam Pomfrey's almost here." Snape continued a stream of soothing words, not realizing his smooth voice was only helping to put Harry to sleep.

"You…you have a nice voice Professor. Never noticed that before. It's deep and kind of silky." Harry giggled. He felt more detached than ever, like his mind wasn't in control of what his body did—or said.

"M'sleepy, sir."

"No Harry, don't sleep. Haven't you been paying attention?! You may have a concussion, sleep is death." Severus cursed himself for saying that to a suicidal teenager. Not only was death a welcoming sign to him, all teenagers are impulsive. Give them an idea and they make it an action in less time than you thought.

"Death, always was a funny word. Such a small word for how big the emotions after it are." Harry's giggle was muffled somewhat. Severus glanced down and realized that Harry was going to sleep and so he bellowed out

"Pomfrey he's over here! Come quickly, I think he has a concussion!"

"Severus? Why were you around here? Oh nevermind, how does this boy get into trouble just walking around?" Her exasperation was palpable, as she settled herself by her most frequent charge.

"Mister Potter!" the nurse shrieked. In an instant the poor boy was up and looking around wildly.

"I swear I didn't mean to fall asleep in class, Professor!" his eyes still unfocused tried in vain to pinpoint what class he was in.

"There now that you are in no immediate danger of sleep, if you will help us get you back to the Infirmary, where you should have been all along." The glare Harry received then quelled any indignation he could have had at being woken in such a fashion.

And so Harry was half carried by Professor Snape and half walked toward the Infirmary and another set of demanding interrogations and diagnostic charms.

_Oh joy._ He thought irritably to himself. How he hated the Hospital Wing.

TBC…

A/N: There, you have now gotten a nice long chapter. Did I manage to catch anyone by surprise? How does everyone like it so far? Let me know if you have any ideas for some songs. I'm going to make the next chapter have Harry listening to some. Make 'em meaningful!

Me: Well…

Harry: I'm kind of scared of myself right now.

Me: You are quite crazy and bipolar at the moment.

Harry: Why?

Me: You've lost your identity and you don't know how to act. And so you act on whatever emotion you feel at the time.

Severus: Must he always run into someone from his inability to pay attention?

Me: Of course. It's such a cliché that it's expected.

Severus: Hmph!

Me: *cackles evilly* Just you wait.

Severus, Harry, and Draco: *backs away quietly*

Enjoy!


	6. Summer So Far

Disclaimer: If you like to entertain the thought of me owning any of the characters or songs in this fic, enjoy the thought as it is no more than that. A piece of your imagination. How I wish I could own the wonders inside this fic, but sadly I only have the plot. So you may delight in believing I own anything besides the plot, but if you sue me, you will get nothing for I have stated, I own none of these things.

A/N: I am thinking of thanking my reviewers at the end of the fic, in my "funnies" section. If no one has any objections, that is where you will find them from here on. But here is an important note

(1)-he's saying wonderful how I love saying it, you know when you're in a playful but agitated mood you just go 'Voondeva!'…if you've never heard of this it is pronounced how I spelled it but here is how just in case 'voon-day-va.' Enjoy.

Chapter Six: Summer So Far

It had been almost two weeks since that little excursion to the Hospital Wing, and Harry was glad to be gone from it. After half an hour of making sure he didn't have a concussion, Pomfrey had then lectured him on how he shouldn't have been away from the Wing in the first place.

Rolling his eyes at the memory, Harry entered his room—which ironically enough was guarded by the very portrait he had spent said time from the Infirmary talking to. Life was just chalk full of the little ironies like that wasn't it?

_Thinking of ironies,_ Harry thought to himself. Every since he had been knocked almost unconscious, Snape and Malfoy had been acting ever odder around him.

_Odder, is that a word? Makes me think of an otter._ Which supplied the mental image of Malfoy and Snape _being_otters and swimming around in the lake.

Harry snickered.

_Back on track! How odd my possibly ex-rival and perhaps the no longer most hated professor are._

Snape simply stared at him, as if he could puzzle out Harry's mind by merely looking at him. Malfoy practically _stuttered_ around him and fled the room as quickly as possible whenever Harry was about. It was infuriating.

At his wits end, Harry thought of a way to make them act normal, as normal as possible anyway. Harry needed normal so that he might find his own way to fit into the slot allotted "normal." Did anyone else think the word normal is getting to sound strange?

_I could always just say "hey you're freaking me out here!" With luck that would at least insult them enough to glare at me…._

_It's a sad day when I _want_ Snape and Malfoy glaring at me._

Continuing his musings, Harry thought of something to do today. As he was still heavily restricted he couldn't do much. Like no flying, no visits or visitors, no leaving Hogwarts and no magic. They weren't giving him much to live for were they? Harry snorted at that, he didn't really want to kill himself anymore. At least not most of the time. Of course he still had issues sorting out how he felt, or how he thought he should feel. It really didn't make sense. One part of him was saying to go jump off the Astronomy Tower and the other was saying think about how much worse it could get—which in theory couldn't be a good idea because look how well _that _had gone. He had thought about how much worse it could get and as if he had a genie _poof _it had happened.

Grumbling under his breath he decided to go and talk to Sal.

_I need a better past time._

Because while yes Sal was always entertaining and very intelligent, the man always _always _managed to make a lesson out of their conversations. While Harry had learned quite a few things (like did you know that it was—way back when—considered a good thing to marry inside your family—as in cousins and such, or that purebloods thought that magical creature blood was just as good as any pureblood. Harry hadn't but now he did) but quite frankly Harry was damn tired of learning during summer. And of lessons. Shuddering at the memories that bombarded him at the thought of the word lessons, he walked out into his common room and found Sal pacing in a portrait.

"Hullo Sal. How are you this fine morning?" asked Harry in the most interested tone he could manage. From the look on Sal's face, he hadn't accomplished much.

"I'm decent. How are you? No longer suicidal I hope?" Sal always brought that up.

"Oh yes, I mean especially since if I were I would let you know and all." He replied, deadpanned.

"Getting my fine sense of humor I notice." Sal countered.

"Of course, how could I not?" with a flourish of his hand Harry bent at the middle and in the most obsequious voice possible said, "I mean who would not appreciate such a superior humor and merely hope to be able to duplicate it?" Harry gave Sal a wry smile.

"Why you are in an odd mood today. Not sulking but not entirely too chipper either. Might I ask why?"

"Of course you may"

Sal waited. And waited. And decided to wait a little bit more before finally inquiring, "Well?"

"Well what? I said you may ask, not that you would be answered." Harry allowed a small smirk to adorn his lips and held back a snort at the indignation that crossed Sal's face.

With a stern frown Sal finally saved face and haughtily said "If you wish to play games then fine, but I can play them better. Now will you answer my question or not, I have other things I could be doing than talking to a sassy lad."

"Now, isn't that an oxymoron? A sassy lad?" Harry questioned, now holding in giggles.

"Hmph!" Sal grunted in the most affronted way possible. Secretly he was glad that the boy seemed to be in good spirits, it was a sight to see when the boy finally smiled with _happiness_ instead of a sense of obligation to make everyone else happy. Most everyone in the castle—okay everyone in the castle; there are very few occupants—could tell when Harry wasn't happy; which was most of the time.

"Ah come on. You know I'm only joking Sal. Anyway you're the only Slytherin I trust to help me find a way to get out of the castle." Harry held up a hand to forestall the argument he saw coming, "With supervision of course. I mean to let them let me go to Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley. Hell anywhere! Just help me get out of the castle and I'll be forever in debt to you."

"One: watch you language" at this point Harry rolled his eyes but made sure not to let Sal see, "Two: very well but only because you asked with such flattery. Even though you're wrong."

Confused Harry asked "How am I wrong Sal?"

"I'm not the only Slytherin you trust because you should never trust a Slytherin. Come now Harry you should know that." Sal threw back, with a false sneer firmly attached to his face.

Harry laughed like he hadn't in ages.

_Mission accomplished_ thought Sal. He had been trying to do that since the lad had first found him.

With some tears trickling from his eyes Harry looked at Sal in gratitude for the agreement to help.

Sal smiled before saying, "Very well, let me find the Headmaster and try to talk some sense into him. This keeping you caged does not seem to be helping your sanity one bit. In my opinion I believe you may have gotten crazier." The teasing was obvious.

"Gee thanks."

"Well if you can't count on me to bring your head from the clouds who can you trust?"

"Ha! You just said I shouldn't trust any Slytherins. Shame shame you must be slipping Sal." Harry crowed triumphantly, it was rare that he could find a flaw in the man's logic.

"Do you want my help or not?" Sal, happy that Harry was still in such a good mood, conceded that Harry had a good point.

Smiling easily now Harry said "Of course, what other Slytherin wouldn't I trust to help me with this?"

"For the love of…."

The only thing heard down the corridor was Harry's enjoyment making itself known.

* * *

And so Harry ended up waiting in his rooms for Sal's return. His rooms weren't very extravagant; they were just like a decent sized flat. Complete with a common room, kitchen, guest room (which confused Harry to no end but he shrugged it off as it was the closest dorm to the Infirmary) and an amazing bathroom. The bath tub alone was the size of any prefects—if not bigger—and the colors were simply lovely. It was black tarnished silver. The floor, counter, and walls were done up in black marble, which made Harry wonder just _who_ lived here before he did, with intricate gold swirls and flecks. The sink and toilet were porcelain but with gold accents. And that was just the bathroom!

The common room was a perfect mix of golden brown colored walls. Harry was unsure of the exact color it was considered. And it was accented by a sage green, just a few shades lighter than Harry's eyes, for the couch—which was butter soft leather and a comfortably large chair—and deep teal here and there. The teal was mainly used on the wall window he had facing the lake, giving him an awesome view of the Forbidden Forest as well. Once again Harry wondered who lived here prior to his inhabitation.

Now Harry's bedroom was an entirely different story. The bed frame, armoire and a simple writing desk were all ebony with walls that showed barely a hint of blue, all the trimmings done in a simple but elegant gray. His bed was the normal four-poster bed of Hogwarts but was now queen sized. His comforter was a deep, dark blue with brown and beige pillows.

The kitchen was by far the most noticeable room in the house. It was light amethyst. But it had a stainless steel fridge—that kept itself stocked and if you wanted something different then all you had to do was ask and reopen it—and a golden oak cabinet that did the same as the fridge.

All in all, the rooms were breathtaking.

And Harry absolutely loved them.

He could just stare in awe of them for an hour.

But when that was pretty much as far as your scenery went, you do tend to get bored with it.

And Harry was beyond bored with them.

He was at tearing his hair out bored.

And so the waiting game continued with Harry wondering if he could manage to find a way to make electronics work in Hogwarts so that he might have a telly or maybe one of those mp3's Dudley always talked about.

* * *

_In Dumbledore's office_

Sal walked into a frame adorning Dumbledore's wall. It had the painting of every single previous headmaster, including all four founders. It was quite a feat for Albus to manage to fit _every_ headmaster in a portrait that suited to all of their needs. But admiring the other paintings wasn't what Sal came here for.

"Albus, a word, if you will?" he politely asked after clearing his throat.

"Of course, old friend. How are you? Doing well as a door guardian now?" Albus smiled when Sal showed up in his old frame, it was always good to talk with Sal. Thinking fondly of all the times Sal improved on a plan of action for the Order he valued Sal's opinion above all others. Well until this moment.

"Indeed I'm doing well as the lad's door guardian. But I do have concerns about the boy, Albus. He needs to be let out; you're caging him like an untamed animal. And from what he's told me that's what his relatives did. Made him stir crazy he says. Makes him willing to do anything to get out. Just let him go somewhere, with supervision, and let him know he isn't being forced to stay here. Whether he actually is or not." Albus's smile slipped off his face after Sal's speech. He wasn't happy about letting Harry out of his sight for a second. Here in Hogwarts he could constantly monitor the young man, but anywhere else and Harry could do just about anything.

"You're losing your touch, Sal. Your "hints" were terribly obvious. But I don't think I can allow him to leave the castle just yet. I mean so much could happen to him out there."

"Be that as it may, were you not paying attention, Albus? Did I not say he would have supervision, whether it be you or your surly Potions Master. Just let him have some free time in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade. Or even just let him prowl the grounds. He really is getting cabin fever here." Sal pleaded, he had a feeling that that was why Harry was in such an odd mood today. His mind was short circuiting due to the surroundings and so slowly he was just going crazy.

Dumbledore hesitated, not wanting Harry to be under the care of Severus simply because they had such a volatile relationship at best.

"I'll think on it, but tell him not to expect much. I'm just not comfortable with him being out where anything can happen." It was an excuse, it satisfied Sal. Slightly. Kind of. Okay not really, but he knew that that was the best answer he could hope for.

With a false smile, Sal took his leave with a parting farewell of "Very well, but remember, this is on your hands now."

Dumbledore ignored him.

Glaring at the man, Sal went to find his young charge.

* * *

Harry, who had taken up sketching when he was young, (along the inside of his cupboard) was now currently drawing a panther from a book. It wasn't turning out how he wanted it to.

_Can't get the eyes right._

Frustrated, Harry tore out the page from his notebook and threw it to the flow—which was already littered heavily from failed pictures.

_Where the hell is Sal? I'm going mad here!_

Grumbling under his breath, Harry went on to start drawing something else.

_What to draw?_ Wondering why he was having such a hard time finding his muse, the green-eyed, young man just let his hand do as it wanted on the paper.

After about five minutes Harry finally looked down to what exactly he had drawn without being aware.

It was Snape.

Only his face but still…

Startled Harry stared hard at the piece of paper, as if it would change by his glare alone. Scowling Harry pondered how well the sketch of the man was.

_Not half bad, if I do say so myself. I got his nose right, and I feel like he's actually glaring out at me from the page._ Harry smirked; he had ended up giving a rough outline of what he wanted at the moment. Normalcy. But he could never let the Potions Master know that he _enjoyed_ putting his likeness on paper.

_The man has a nice profile. And his nose only adds to it. Hmm I wonder about Malfoy, how would his sketch look?_

Not happy about where his thoughts were going Harry closed his "sketchbook" and went to find a book to read. He would do his homework but he had finished it within the first week of being cooped up. Muttering to himself about the unfairness of it all and how his own mind was betraying him, he grabbed the first book he saw. His potions text.

_Damn! Bugger it, I'm going for a walk. Sal'll just have to find me._

And so Harry stalked out the door…

Running right into Malfoy this time.

"Fuck!" Harry screamed in frustration. Gently feeling his nose, Harry glared at Malfoy, for deciding to get over his weird avoidance of Harry _now._ That's when Harry noticed Malfoy was on the floor where as—for once—Harry had managed to stay standing.

Extending his hand for Malfoy, he was surprised when the blonde took it.

"Thanks." Malfoy said.

Creeped out beyond all belief that _Malfoy _said thank you, Harry let an uneasy "Welcome" escape from his lips.

"Now that you've helped the poor boy up Harry, watch your language! I will not remind you again. Poor language is a sign of"

Harry interrupted him before he could finish one of the most frequent sayings Harry got "is a sign of a poor mind, Sal, I got it already. And what do you mean "poor boy" he's the one standing outside of my door."Harry cried out, cross that the entire world seemed to be conspiring against him. _First my mind, now my only friend at Hogwarts right now. _

"Yes he was, at my request." Sal glared back.

"So Dumbledore said no. Voondeva!(1) My stay at Hogwarts just keeps getting better. You know, I'm kind of glad I never stayed here before if _these_ are the rules I'd have to follow! And I haven't _once_ stepped out of line. So why _why_ won't he…"

Cutting of Harry's rant, which was to be of epic proportions, Sal told him "He never said no, but he never said yes either. Now how on earth did you figure that out so quickly?" curiosity filled Sal's demeanor.

"Easy, Malfoy avoids me, now here he is. You've been gone for a while, doing me a favor, now here you are. At my door. Waiting for me. You got Malfoy here to be my "playmate" which is the only reason you and Malfoy would be at my door at the same time. See it all makes sense." Harry stated proudly. He thought he connected all the dots quite well.

"I think it was just a lucky guess." Drawled Malfoy.

"You would. 'Logic is lost on the poor minded.'" Harry quoted for Sal again.

Neither Slytherin was impressed.

"I'm glad that you're actually listening when I lecture you, but I don't need you going around lecturing others." Sal said, believing he put Harry back in his place.

"Why not? I'm to be a leader in this war aren't I? Wouldn't it be great practice to lecture and lead others now? I mean, how else am I to know what the hell I'm doing? It's not like Dumbledore is doing anything to train me, so I've taken it upon myself to train myself. So why can't I go around lecturing others? Especially when the lectures are foolproof?" Harry stated, once more proud of himself for how logical it all was.

Sal blinked. He blinked again. Everything the lad had said made sense. "Well, er…you see…I think I've taught you too well."

Harry smiled, while Sal glared. He couldn't believe it, he _lost_ an argument. To the lad of all people. He'd never live this down.

"Nope, you won't." Startled, Sal realized he must've said the last bit out loud. Harry smiled wider at Sal, before saying "Now how did you manage to get Malfoy here anyway? It's like I'm a cat and he's a mouse; when I'm around he runs."

Malfoy glared at that, but said nothing.

"I simply offered him something to do, and he agreed and followed."

Confused, Harry wrinkled his nose as he tried to figure this new puzzle out.

"Wait, why did he agree so quickly? Is _anyone_ allowed out of the castle?"

"_He_ is standing right here, and no, none of us are allowed to leave until you are." Malfoy glared harder at Harry. Not liking that they were conversing about him, while he was standing. Right. There.

"Why?" Harry asked, before it hit him. "You all have to keep "guard" on me." He said the word with such disgust Sal and Malfoy were surprised he didn't spit.

Uncomfortable now, the blonde boy said "Yes."

Growling Harry stalked back into his room and slammed the portrait.

Sal let out a very undignified squeak, before yelling out "Watch it!"

Sighing, Sal said "Well I tried both of my options and neither worked. Damn."

Draco, surprised Sal cursed after the small speech to Harry about it asked, "Why is he so angry? I mean it's not technically his fault that we're _all_ stuck here. If Dumbledore would just let him leave for a few hours with Severus, then we all could go somewhere. Why won't Dumbledore let him go out?" How he hated puzzles and that's all Harry Potter is. One giant puzzle. Dumbledore too for that matter.

Answering Draco's questions first, Sal told him what he inferred from the lad. "I think he's angry at Dumbledore for robbing him of his summer, and then he goes to find out Dumbledore is robbing three others of _their_ summers because Harry has to be watched. Harry doesn't look at things in a straight line; he goes the roundabout way, so he sees that because of him, three others can't enjoy themselves like they should. Now as for Dumbledore, I think the man has just slightly lost it. He got too much information at once. He realized he was wrong, that he nearly cost a young man his life, which said young man is the one who is said to have to save us all, and finally he just snapped. He couldn't take the pressure of nearly losing the Gryffindor Golden Boy _and_ it being his fault. And so he's doing what he thinks best. Which is the opposite of what Harry needs. He needs to be outside finding out what all he has to live for. He's been caged his entire life. Now he's had a taste of freedom, here at Hogwarts for five years, and Dumbledore is taking it away. Again." The founder of Slytherin sighed at this and shook his head wearily. "I just don't get either man." He said ruefully.

Draco just stared the frame, pensively. He couldn't believe Harry bloody Potter cared enough about his arch rivals to feel bad enough to get angry on their behalf.

_Then again, he did help me up._

Draco growled under his breath. Once again the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Confuse-the-Slytherins-of-the-World had flipped Draco's beliefs upside down.

The Malfoy heir resolved to go talk to Dumbledore. He would be very sly about it, make it seem like _he_ wanted out. Not at all like he wanted to help Potter get out. Telling Salazar of his plan, Sal nodded and told him to get Severus to assist and Dumbledore would have a mutiny on his hands if he refused.

Smirking evilly, the blonde Slytherin made his way to the Potions Master's office.

* * *

Meanwhile, Harry was busy glaring at the wall for no particular reason. Scowling like mad, he jumped up and paced.

_Like a caged tiger. Is that what I am to him? A dangerous animal that has to be kept under tight locks? God, I want to…to kill him!..._

_Wait what? No, no I don't. Stop that Harry, you're going crazier than before._

Disturbed by his thoughts Harry went back to sketching.

_Yes, sketching. Drawing requires thought, focusing on capturing your subject exactly how you want it. _Mentally babbling Harry proceeded to portray Malfoy how he believed the ice blonde youth would look like just lounging on a broom.

_His features are amazing. All angles but still soft. His nose is kinda sharp. _At this point Harry vaguely wondered if _all_ Slytherins have nose quirks.

_I'll have to check out Sal's later. And apologize. But damn it Dumbledore makes me so angry!_ Stopping his unruly thoughts once more, Harry concentrated on Malfoy again.

_Yes, his nose is kinda sharp, and flips up some at the end. Now his eyes, they're almond shaped. Yes like that. Perfect. _

Easily keeping up his mental commentary, Harry quickly finished the sketch. Feeling much calmer, he went out to say sorry to Sal. He hadn't deserved to be slammed like that. He opened the door just as Dumbledore was about to knock on the door. Close behind him were Snape and Malfoy, both looking pleased as cats that managed to get the bird and finished off their cream.

"Ah, Harry impeccable timing. How are you, child?"

"Fine, sir. Would you all like to come in?" Not liking the way this was going so far, Harry did his best to maintain his politeness. Sal, who had just walked into one of the frames lining the walls of Harry's common room, nodded in satisfaction. He was teaching the lad well.

All of the men walked in and sat down on the comfortable couch while Harry sat down in the recliner.

"Yes, yes thank you. I've come to talk about the rules we" a throat was cleared at this time; Harry couldn't tell if it was Sal, Snape or Malfoy. "Sorry, that _I _put in effect for your safety. I have been convinced that you are unhappy with your time here. I must ask, do you truly feel caged?" Harry could _feel_ the concern the Headmaster had for him, and not liking that he was about to make the man feel even more guilty—Harry decided he would ponder _that _little tidbit of information later—he told the truth.

"Yes sir, in fact, I have been feeling quite restricted. Unfairly at that. I haven't even put a toe out of line but I'm not allowed even out of the castle. I'm not allowed up into the towers—which trust me I understand why—but that makes for dull walking. I can't visit _anyone_, besides people who don't like me or only want me as a patient. I feel like if don't get out, anywhere I don't care where I go anymore, I will explode! I _need_ to be outside right now."

And he was right, even if he wasn't aware of it—Draco was sure he wasn't—Harry's magic was creating wind around him. As if to simulate a gentle breeze, it kept his hair gently swaying and everyone else on edge.

Every wizard has partial uncontrollable magic. It's there for when you need it most and either can't or don't know how to wield it. It's called "accidental magic" but in reality the wizard's magical core knows exactly what it is doing. Almost like a parasite it does what it can to keep its "host" alive. And sometimes, when a wizard is particularly in touch with their core, it will react when the "host" is feeling trapped. Like Harry was.

Dumbledore grimaced at the gentle wind but nodded and said "As I realized simply moments ago. Now Professor Snape and Mr. Malfoy here are going to take you to Diagon Alley and if there is time Hogsmeade. And the restriction on Hogwarts grounds is removed, meaning you will be able to roam them freely. Except the ones during school of course. No Forbidden Forest and no further than the middle of the lake." As sternly as possible without being rude he continued with "Please don't break these new rules Harry."

Harry was positively beaming. It looked as if his face could split in half from the blinding smile on his face. Had there been a vampire in the room he might have run screaming for fear the sun had crept into the room. Nodding furiously, Harry leapt up to hug Dumbledore, before running to get dressed.

Stunned, Dumbledore sat there for a moment, before looking around. He was getting smug looks from all around. Sal the smuggest of all.

"Oh bugger off." He muttered irritably. So he'd been wrong, again. Glaring at the floor the Headmaster thought of what it took just to persuade him to realize what should have been obvious.

_Flashback_

_Draco, his face the picture of determination, burst through the Headmaster's door. Severus was following in a much more sedated pace._

"_Ah, Draco, Severus, how may I help you two today?" the benign man asked._

"_You can start by letting us leave the castle. Everyone is going stir crazy, including Saint Potter." Draco sneered._

"_Now, now Draco, you know I can't do that." Shaking his head sadly, the Headmaster wondered if there was a conspiracy going about. First Salazar now these two._

"_Well why not? You don't have to let the Boy Wonder leave; just Severus and I." Draco complained._

"_That would be severely unfair to Harry, Draco! I'm surprised at you." Dumbledore cried out._

"_I need ingredients Albus. My stock is almost depleted. You should know by now that I shop for fresh items weekly. I haven't been in almost three weeks." From anyone else it would have sounded like whining, from the dark haired man in front of Albus it sounded like a threat._

"_I'm sorry, boys but"_

This isn't working, _thought Draco. _I do believe it's time to abandon plan A and move to Plan B.

_Draco cut in then, "Sheesh Headmaster! Do you realize what you're doing to Harry?" Dumbledore started, not only from the tone Draco had taken but from the fact that Draco had referred to Harry by his given name. _

"_Don't you realize that he's up there wondering just what the hell he has to live for if he can't _do_ anything? He's not allowed to enjoy anything. I can understand the towers being restricted, and the lake, and his broom, but to keep him from going to Hogsmeade or from visiting that oaf Hagrid?! That's simply absurd. And if you keep this up, Harry will _loathe_ you. He'll start pondering if maybe the Dark Lord had the right idea. I mean"_

_This time Draco got interrupted._

"_I…I understand where you're coming from Draco, really I do, but I just don't think it's a good idea." The Headmaster calmly stated._

"_Albus! Please! You're suffocating the young man because of your own mistakes. And in the process you're making another error! Now listen! Harry Potter was always kept locked away like a dirty little secret by his relatives. Do you want to be seen as no better than they? Well? Do you wish for him to see you the same way he views them? Honestly Albus, do you want the child to despise you? You're well on your way." Severus heatedly argued. He was worked up in a righteous fury. Draco smiled, it was a rare sight indeed to see Severus lose his cold disdain mask and show emotion._

"_No, Severus. I don't wish for Harry to hate me." Whispered Dumbledore. Meekly the aged man nodded his consent. _

"_But you two will be with him any time he leave the castle grounds." He added as an afterthought._

"_Of course." Draco said pompously, as if he hadn't expected any other solution._

_End Flashback_

A polite cough interrupts Dumbledore's musings, and he looks up to see Harry staring at him expectantly.

"Right. Harry anytime you leave the castle grounds you are to inform Severus or Draco here. If you wish to go to Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley you need to arrange it so it fits one of their schedules. And you may visit Hagrid anytime you wish, but he does not count as a guardian when you leave." Setting down the rules as firmly as possible while Harry looked at him with appreciating eyes, Dumbledore continued, "Now when you do leave the grounds let Salazar know so he may inform me. That is all. Now go enjoy yourself." Smiling the Headmaster finished.

For a moment it seemed as if Harry was just going to stand there. But with only another moment's hesitation, Harry made his way to Dumbledore and grinned.

"Thank you, sir. It means a lot to me that you almost trust me now." Harry wasn't fooled. He knew that Dumbledore had been ambushed into this, but he was willing to forget in his happiness. Forget, but not forgive.

_You're not making sense again, Harry…when did I start referring to myself while mentally arguing with myself._

_Cause that made more sense._

Mentally rolling his eyes at himself, Harry glanced at his chaperones.

Nodding Severus gestured toward the door.

Practically bouncing with joy, Harry was the first to escape his rooms and walk towards the doors leading out of Hogwarts.

TBC…

My most wonderful reviewers!

-Kamey Rynn- I'm ecstatic that you are enjoying my—hopefully—wonderful fic! Please continue reading and tell me how you like it. Be harsh!

-Mrscakeakajane- You are the most loyal reviewer I have. I will indeed keep this fic going. I've got so many ideas for it. I'm just trying to keep them in a nice line and not too out there. Next chapter is going to be Diagon Alley and Harry gets a make-over! Woo!

Me: *sigh* I love it when people enjoy what I write.

Harry: I'm not enjoying what you're writing.

Me: Why ever not?

Harry: You've made me insane.

Me: Not insane. Simply disturbed. And you get better…I think.

Harry: YOU THINK?

Draco and Severus: Hmm…we kinda like him disturbed. He's cute and disheveled.

Harry: *glares at Dray and Sev* I am not. I'm manly and rugged.

Me: I kinda like it when you're cute and adorable and no one can stay mad at you because you unknowingly give them puppy dog eyes. Yes, that's how it should be. *grins evilly*

Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I'M DOOMED!

Dray and Sev: Sweet!

Until next time….


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